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Help wanted: why you need to be a yes mom

You’re independent. You’re organized. You have a new born baby.

It’s difficult for new moms to imagine how physically and emotionally overwhelming the first weeks (if not months) of parenthood can be. You have to learn new skills (breastfeeding, diaper changing, soothing a baby) all while your hormones are plummeting and you’re physically recovering from birthing a tiny human.

This is the time where new moms need all hands on deck.

But often moms will give a polite pass, because we live in a culture that values independence and self-reliance. Although it can be the mom mentality to do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry and carpooling, put away your “I got this!” mentality and say yes to help.

Maybe you’re used to doing everything yourself. You don’t want to take advantage of others. Or maybe they don’t do things the way you like them done.

Well, I am here to tell you it is okay to say yes!

Next time a friend offers to bring you ten frozen lasagnas – take it. Let’s shift our thinking: accepting help does not make you weak. Saying yes means saying you value and appreciate the people who are offering to do this for you.

When you think about it, it feels good for the person offering too. Have you ever bought coffee for the next person in line? Donated to charity? Paying it forward feels good. So by saying yes to their offer, you’re making them feel good that they can help you out.

And it’s good karma. The next time you have a mom in your life with a bun fresh out of the oven, pay it forward. Bring them a lasagna and don’t take no for an answer. 

Don’t know how to ask for or accept help?
Tip: Put a to-do list on your fridge, so people don’t have to wonder what needs to be done.

Are you a friend or family member of a soon-to-be mom? Here are some ideas to help out:

  • Hire a cleaning service to come for the day.
  • Prepare freezer-friendly meals that mom can easily pop in the oven.
    • Think beyond dinner: easy, healthy snacks (for mom and her other kids!).
  • Offer help with a direct intention. There’s a difference between “is there anything I can do to help?” and “I’m at the store right now, what do you need?”
  • Snap some photos of mom with baby and surprise her later with some framed printed copies.
  • Offer to help with the other kids (taking them out of the house, carpooling to school, etc.).
  • Visit while doing the things she needs to get done – join her on her errand runs, dry the dishes while she washes.
  • Send an edible arrangement instead of flowers.


What are some of the helpful things you’ve done or received? Share in the comments below!


-- Jaida Shenfield
a Fabulous freelance writer, and apart of the Ella Bella Maternity Boutique team! 


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